Mariocart speed dating, HELL YEAH!

Now I have been single for a while, so long in fact my cousin asked me if I was gay the other day, I guess the short sterotypical haircut doesn't help.  While I still have some feelings for my ex, even though it would never work, I just haven't found a connection with someone new.  Plus boys are so shy and I'm a bit old fashion in the way I think a boy should approach a gal and ask her out.

So when my friend asked me if I wanted to join her speed dating, I was a little apprehensive.  I've never done it before and as its been so long with someone new, I feel a little rusty.  But then she mention old skool mariocart and I didn't think twice, I'm in!

I had no idea what to expect, but thought what the hell, I can talk to anyone and everyone one about anything lol  It took place in a loft in Northbridge that has an awesome shop down stairs and a micro cinema that holds 20 and screens random cult films on different nights.  That in itself was was worth the visit.  The owner is 31 so the shop was decorated with so much stuff i grew up with, I loved it.  For local Perthians the shops called one up micro cinema, sooo worth checking out!

Only having 3 consoles meant there would actually have to be 5 minutes of actual convo, but hungry hungry hippo and guess who were there to help.  Even though I should have done the girly thing, I'm very competative and grew up with boys, so I won most games ha ha 

To be honest it was so casual, it was a lot easier then I thought.  To be really honest, even though I didn't meet anyone, and the guy my friend liked, liked me (oopps) I actually had a lot of fun.  Maybe I can get back into the game!

Finally 30

So this is what 30 feels like, really no different to 29.  Still getting asked i.d when I go out and being mistaken for my 21 yr old brother's girlfriend.  My body definitely feels 30, especially since I've stopped regular exercise, but I still don't feel that old.  Still feel like I have so much life learning to do and still making silly mistakes and mis-judging people.  Still a little naive and gullible, I don't think that will ever go away.

 For my 30th birthday my mum, for some reason thought it was good timing to have a go at me and tell me how disappointed she is in me and thought saying I love you and hugging me straight after would take the sting out of the words.  It did not.  It made feel like cancelling our joint birthday that weekend and not giving her, her present.  A hand painted suitcase that took me 7 hours to paint.  Way to ruin my birthday.......

I know things shouldn't be dwelled on and my dad is always complaining about how long his family hold grudges against each other, but I'm finding it very hard to repair our fractured relationship and every time I think it starts to get back on track she gives me another reason to run away.  You can't reason with my mum she is always right, so I'm at a lost to how to fix this.  I know it's because she cares, but that reason doesn't offer much condolence.  Talking to my friends I'm not the only one with a dysfunctional family, that makes me feel a little better........Now bring on that light bulb moment when I get my shit together and actually work out what I want!

Eat, Pray, Love

I've just finished the book eat pray love and while I'm not in the same place as the author, I feel alot of similarities to her.  As my 30th birthday looms only a few weeks away, I ponder where I have ended up and remember when I was in high school, at this age, I thought I'd have the whole hubby, kids and house thing going on.  I feel no closer to settling down, much to my mothers disgust and wonder what is the right or wrong thing to do or have at my age or any age for that matter. 

Along the way, someone decided it was the right thing to evantually find someone, fall in love, marry, have children and live happily ever after and while all those things are good in theory, and something I may evantually want, it's not for me right now.  Is that a bad thing?  That I feel like I have a lot of travelling I still want to do and I'm too selfish at the moment to even think about having children?  Children are not to be taken lightly, they need and demand all your time and attention.  Once you have children your lifestyle changes and I think people totally underestimate the change.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure being a mother is a beautiful thing and to have that kind of bond with something you have created is beautiful, but at the moment, and not for a while yet, it's not for me.

I have been, for a while now as the my blog title suggests lost.  Come to a time in my life when I've had enough of my job, enough of Perth and need a change.  None of my family understand this and I feel the mixture of fear and upsetting my family is keeping me here.  I know it's not a good enough reason to move forward and it's creating resentment towards my mother, which I don't like.  Especially just as we are starting to get our relationship back on track.  I'm so lost and everyday feels like a constant tug of war within myself.  I know I won't be able to keep everyone happy and after trying to keep everyone happy my whole life maybe it's time to be a little selfish and do something for me.  If only I knew what.

Boys Suck!

Why is it, no matter how much of a ass they were and how much he lied to you, you still miss your ex?  I went out of my way to block him on Facebook, so I don't even have to see his stupid updates about what kind of coffee he's drinking and yet things around me still tease and remind me of him. 

 How can you spend so much time with someone only for them to easily forget you and move on?  I thought I had moved on. I'm hardly home always going out and keeping myself busy, having fun, but still every know and then my heart hurts a little to think I can't ring him and tell him about an awesome new band he'd love, or that his fav Perth blues singer is a lesbian (I'd love to tell him that one) or ring to talk to him, just cause. 

I just gave my cousin great advise that I'd love to believe.  I told him even though you heart his broken and it feels like there will be no one to replace that void and have that same connection with, it will happen, evantually and when you find the one, all the heartbreak and time you spent on someone who wasn't right for you will be worth finding the one that is.  Words right now I truly wished I believed.

WA you continue to blow me away!

Now as much as local Perthians complain about Perth and lack of culture, social culture ect we have very beautiful landscapes and country side.  A couple of weeks ago I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend in Albany on a work trip discovering some of the South West and what a warm welcome we received everywhere we went, and the food so fresh, delish and best of all local!  The hospitality and warmness of the locals was a pleasant surprise and continually got blown away by the beauty, even if it was a little cold......

Picture perfect without a soul around

Fresh yabbies

Sleeping beauty

Best smoked trout ever and just from next door!

Popping my Southbound Cherry

Southbound, what I can I say, wow!  I wasn't sure I could last the whole 3 days of music festivity goodness, but I'm alive to tell the tale.  Busselton is such a beautiful place to hold such an incredible festival, although I think it should have been to condensed to a 2 day festival. I was lucky enough to be invited by an old friend and was happily surprised that 1. the house we stayed in was a 2 min walk from the beach and 5 min drive to the festival 2. food and drink were already purchased and 3. I got along with most people (only one person I didn't like which is great odds) and everyone was easy going.  I loved not having to organise a thing, and with most of the house being gay I also got a bit of an education thrown in for good measure.   Kitty, daisy and Lewis blew me away and were far by my favs, but birds of Tokyo, Dan Sultan, The Klaxons, Paul Kelly and Washington deserve a mention.  The good thing about so much music is the discovery of new bands, dj's and sounds, Peaches was incredible and really knows how to put on a show, Marina and the Diamonds were awesome and there were more I enjoyed, but need to look up, my head was reeling with so much music! The only suckey thing was I forgot my photo id and the douchbags slapped on a underage band even though i am not clearly under 18.  This was rectified my putting my mates stubby holder over the band and walking right through and into the over age section, suck on that! Spent an extra day before I drove back with a little op shopping and window shopping, linner (not quite lunch, not quite dinner), beach and pub dinner.  A fantastic end to a fantastic weekend, that I feel like I'm still trying to recover from!

The amazing peaches!

Her dancers, randoms picked that day!

Festival lovin, bumping and grindin

Crystal clear beaches

Just a quicky to end and say my thoughts and prayers are with everyone living in Queensland.  If you didn't know Queensland has had major flash flooding and 75% of Queensland has been declared a disaster zone.  I can't imagine knowing my house may get flooded or totalled and theres nothing I could do about it or even think if it did where would I go.........makes you think.

Sea Change

I apologise for my absence if there is anyone who reads my blog.  This time of the year is always crazeee!  Not only did I have christmas to organize for (it totally snuck up on me this year), I have countless birthdays and weekends spent rarely at home in the good ol month of December.  Although I still managed to make a yummy maple syrup and walnut cheesecake!

This year was a stiffling 40 degrees, considering the weather around the world I guess I should count myself lucky.  With the Eastern states of Australia flooding and Europe/US having ridiculous amount of snow dumped on them sending flights and travel into a chaotic mess, I guess Perth isn't such a bad place to be at the moment. 

Little miss lost is still lost, but thinking of postponing her trip to America and move indefinitely to Melbourne.  I feel as if I need to move forward and create a new chapter of my life and do it while I'm still single and baby free.  Hopefully I'll get clarification and realise what I want to do.  Life is an ongoing journey and I now feel like its time for a different direction.  Problem is I have a house and two dogs, anyone have any suggestions or pointers on moving, I'd really appreciate it!